Backup

There is one word to characterise last week - and the coming week while we are at it - work. I have been working solid, day and night, including this weekend. Amidst the incessant flow of work from my day job, I have to run a recruitment drive for the organisation at which I volunteer. Between all the work required to keep everything going, I really haven't had a spare moment, other than some down time after dinner now to blog. Meanwhile, the fact that Brexit got up had thrown my mental state into a bit of turmoil. I don't have a strong leaning in the matter and I don't necessarily think the Leave camp is necessarily made up of uneducated people; while I think I am more closely aligned to the Remain camp, I understand some of the reasons of the other. In the end, my only misgiving is how the far right seems to be gaining more and more momentum around the world and that is a worrying development because in my view, the far right is quite self-obsessed and lacks empathy, wh...

It was a crazy week. I had another one of those presentations to do but it was only for half a day. Even so, I felt like I had to do more work this time round, probably because the group was quieter and more introverted, so I had to expend more energy trying to get things moving. I suspect that their feedback won't be as good as the last two group but I will try not to beat myself up about it. Friday evening Probably due to the stress of all the work I had had to do between now and the end of the financial year, I woke up with a slight headache on Friday morning, which turned into a big headache by the end of the day, so instead of getting changed to see a movie, I messaged everyone and said I was going home. I pretty much spent the rest of the night on the couch nursing my sore head. The headache did dissipate by about 11 pm though, so it was good to feel human again. Saturday I got up at about 10:30 am on Saturday morning - I was that tired. It was good to sleep-in thou...

I usually take a hot shower before going to bed. While I enjoy the refreshing hot shower, I usually feel a bit warm by the time I hop into bed. This was what transpired last night: Sam: Give me a cuddle *as he tugs himself in* Me: I'm too hot... Sam: I don't care, cuddle me!!! Me: Sam, I'm feeling hot! Sam: I don't care. You have to cuddle me! Me: I'm overheating! Fine, you can have my arm. Sam: What???!!! Me: You can cuddle my arm *hold out my arm to his side of the bed* Sam: What?! That's bullshit! *as he clambers over and hugs my outstretched arm* Me: ... Sam: It's so stupid that I can only cuddle your arm. I don't think he could see me rolling my eyes in the dark.

Last week was exhausting but rewarding as well. The all-day presentation was totally exhausting but it went really well. I think I'm really getting the hang of getting the participants engaged throughout the whole course. In fact, it went so well that I started questioning if I should be doing it as a career rather than what I usually do. I even impressed the observer of the organisation that hired me to do the job and I suspect that I will be called back to do more sessions in the future. I guess I'd find out more what the official feedback comes back in the next few weeks. Last Monday also marked the last lecture for the year, so it was really good to know that I have some freedom back in the next 6 months. Having said that, a part of me is going to miss lecturing. It was also lovely that my students gave me a round of applause at the end of the lecture again, which had happened every single year since I started lecturing three years ago. Apparently, it doesn't happen i...

Human beings are such complex creatures. We all think and feel a bunch of things inside but for most of the time, we don't make those thoughts and feelings known. When we do, we choose to disclose selective information to selective people, which means that we are all engaged in a constant 'guessing game' with each other, never really knowing what the other person is thinking or feeling. Even one's persona is selectively revealed. For instance, the Eddy known by my workmates is completely different from the Eddy known by my friends. This phenomenon permeates all of our relationships, be it people we work with, play with, sleep with, etc, etc. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if we indiscriminately let others know exactly what we think or feel. I suspect life could get even more complicated if that is possible.

I was living in a constant state of feeling overwhelmed last week. I probably shouldn't have let myself feel that way; I was only feeling overwhelmed because I felt that I was really short on time to be across all the detail for which I am responsible. I am feeling much better now because I found the time to go through everything I needed to go through this weekend. In fact, I am quite looking forward to my last lecture tomorrow night and my all day workshop on Wednesday. I regularly amaze myself for what and the volume of things I am capable of producing. Friday evening It was a relief to see the end of the work week but because I was still feeling overwhelmed with what was to come in the next few weeks, I left the office with a somewhat heavy weight in my heart. It was good to see the boys for dinner. I was feeling quite hungry, probably because anxiety causes me to feel hungry. After dinner, Sam headed home because he was feeling very tired as well, so the boys and I wan...