Providence

I feel very compelled and moved to blog this entry.

By way of context, I had one of the most stressful weeks in my career. The week started off with the culmination of a week-long plan to terminate someone's employment. This wasn't the first time I had to terminate someone but this was the first time when the termination came as a complete surprise to the employee, albeit the surprise wasn't caused by me; rather, it was caused by the massive lack of self-awareness of the individual involved.

Anyway, the whole plan involved a lot of behind-the-scene work that lasted a whole week but the termination itself took place in a brief moment between 10 to 15 minutes. It was heartbreaking to see the shock and sadness that was etched on the employee's face. I am a pacifist and don't ever want to cause another human being pain but there I was, doing exactly that, even though there were obviously very good reasons for the decision to terminate.

Funny thing about causing someone pain - it seems to produce the same effect in the heart of the person who inflicts the pain. After the very difficult conversation (which was more like a monologue on my part in truth), I began to get this knot in my stomach that literally lasted for days.

To amplify that feeling of heaviness in that knot, an error we committed on a client's work meant that we could cost our client a lot of money. The error was caused by one simple misinterpretation of a definition of a technical term. In every professional's life, when this happens, the stress is overwhelming. Even worse, my head would not let me rest as it kept trying to find different ways to mitigate the problem. I could consciously tell my brain to shut down because having it attacking the problem meant that the issue wouldn't leave my mind, which then caused a great deal of emotional stress and mental exhaustion.

Then it happened.

I believe in how we think affects the reality. I believe that if we combine emotional strength and intellectual will, we can do what we consider as supernatural as defined by 'normal' people. Because of this belief, I have an almost daily mantra to direct my will and emotions to certain objectives I strive to achieve in life. One of those is that the clients I help would appreciate what I have done for them and what I have done for them really helps them and changes their lives.

Given the stress that came with the technical error we committed, over the last few days, I also added a cry out for help from the universe to give me a miracle in mitigating the problem, even though we were fast exhausting the potential solutions that may at least lessen the impact of the problem. I tried my absolute best to trust the universe that the miracle would happen.

And it did.

On Friday morning, I was going through the same technical problem with one of my team members who worked on the client with me. I came up with a number of options that turned out to be dead ends but as I went through one of those options, a completely lateral thought was suddenly triggered in both of our minds. You could almost see the light bulbs coming on above our heads. My team mate then spent the rest of Friday proving that the new idea would work. It did. It was exactly the miracle I was hoping for - the solution was elegant and required very little backtracking. It was quite simply magical.

Fast forward to this morning. Another client called me. Yes, it is Saturday but I answered the phone anyway. This client is in his 70s and is probably one of the most politically incorrect person I know. Yet, for some reason, I don't mind him. I helped him out of a tight spot before but he is one of those clients who whinges about our fees a lot, so in that sense, he can be a handful to deal with at times. Ironically, the guy's net wealth is around $30 million - I guess some rich people are rich because they push back on the price of everything. This guy also collects certain items as a hobby and let's say each of these items is usually worth quite a lot.

When I picked up the phone, he asked a number of technical questions. I was more than happy to help him. When we finished the technical discussion, he then started giving me a lecture on how I needed to look after myself, rather than being defined by the Firm for which I worked. It was a paternal type advice and I respectfully and politely listened and encouraged him to speak more.

At the end of the lecture, he said to me:

I've come to a decision. I want you to know how much I appreciate what you have always done for me. I have decided to give you one of the [collectible items] I have to show my appreciation.

I quickly said that I would be uncomfortable accepting anything like that from him. I told him that the very fact that he expressed his appreciation was more than enough. I said that if he didn't want the item, he should just sell it and pass it onto his family. He wouldn't have any of my protests. He told me that he had been giving some of these items away anyway because he couldn't take them with him when he dies. And given the quantum of his wealth, it wasn't as if his family wouldn't be taken care of already.

When I got off the phone. I was shocked. It wasn't because of the gift. In fact, I couldn't care less about the gift. It was the shock of a client being so appreciative of what I did that he wanted to give me something valuable. This appreciation has always been what I hope to achieve, which is part of my daily mantra. Seeing my mantra tangibly materialising is surreal and blows my mind to say the least.

Just like this, it made a very difficult and challenging week totally worthwhile. I am extremely grateful for the providence given to me by the universe. It has always done that and I trust that it will always look after me.